Sunday, May 17, 2009

Keep Breathing:

About 11:15pm-ish, my phone rang (rather late, but not a total shocker).

Mike answered, since he was closest to it. When he read the display - my brother - it became a very wanted call. See, my brother and his wife had just been in town (Central Coast of CA) and were headed back, via highways & bi-ways, to their home in New Mexico.

This was the expected call of "Hey guys! We're home now! Yeah, it's late, but you demanded we call y'all when we arrived safely, so here it is at 11-something pm. Love ya and talk with you soon! We're home!"

But that wasn't this call.

They were involved in a serious accident about 24 hours ago.

He has a "Frankenstein" gash across his forehead (subcutaneous stitches as well as topical) and his wife has a fractured collarbone.

They were in separate vehicles and hit by the same tractor-trailer semi. First her - hit from behind and then completely run over by the cab of the semi. He was hit by the jack-knifed trailer attached. She was ran off the road and he flipped (once or twice - he's not sure).

Again, this was just over 24 hours ago. Roughly 10:30-ish Friday night. He said they were released from the hospital at about 3/4-ish A.M. Saturday morning. She has an arm splint and he has stitches. One of them has an Rx for a muscle relaxant and the other has an Rx for scrip Motrin.

They're now in an Arizona hotel, with no vehicles, scant personal belongings and left to figure it all out on their own.

My heart hurts for them both, and more-so for my brother because I know he wants to "fix" this horribly broken situation and alleviate his wife's suffering - emotionally, physically and . . . and concretely. To make it like it never happened. All the while with a gash on his own head and his own personal experience of the accident.

Immediately after the accident, while still on the side of the road, his first call was to his wife's mother. I cannot even imagine what that must have felt like, for him and for her.

Here's where I blow my stack, and then let go, something that makes me angry as Fuck.

For real, not even kidding pissed. I know it's my adrenaline and protectiveness taking over but swear to fucking God I am so mad.

After Bro & SIL finally got some real sleep, they called her mom (a very sweet woman and she probably had sat by the phone for hours waiting for an update!) and then our sister (local to me on the Central Coast). They had stayed at her house the few days they were in town.

She then called . . . not me. Her OTHER sister . . . then not me. Then *her* parents . . . then not me.

Lemme break it down for you:

Me and my brother are blood relatives.
We were adopted into our sister's family (mom, dad, two sister siblings much older)
I was "unadopted" at 15
Brother was given to foster family just after that
*Her* parents haven't been in our lives for . . . oh . . . almost 20 years?
Other sister has been married and distant for . . . oh . . . about 18 years.

And me - blood fucking sister, through thick & thin in this fucked up family. No call, no voice message, no email, no fucking anything. Not anything.

Should I blame my brother for not calling me first? Yeah. Honestly, I'm a bit taken aback. I've also been in a car accident (or three - HELLO $4.something million dollar lawsuit) and know from disorientation, shock, surprise, anger, whathaveyou.

My husband, having answered the phone tonight and listened to my brother's ordeal first-hand, later kept saying what he knows I feel in my heart but probably wouldn't have said so soon:

"How could she not call?"

How could she not have called?

No matter what though, he's okay and so is his wife. All we want, all of us, is for him and her to get through this horrible ordeal intact.

Breathe.

For him, for her, and for them when they forget to.