I've been on a bit of a rant lately regarding Childfree and the kid-centric world in which we live.
Honestly, I had pushed the soapbox back under the podium and had every intent to get back to bloggity blogging the usual mandanity (mundaneness?) of my mostly knit-centric personal space.
But (and doesn't every long winded story have a but in it?) I just found out the other day that November 15th was designated as a shout-out day for the Child FREE by CHOICE bloggers.
So here it is.
*waves hands in the air*
SHOUT OUT!!!!
Most days, being Childfree isn't a 'cause' for me - my life doesn't really have anything to do with kids. I don't work with them, my work isn't kid-friendly, my friends have kids at tolerable ages (after about 12 - where they're ignoring me as much as I'm ignoring them, lol).
Where kids start to drive me up the ohgawdpleasemakeitshutupI'mgoingtostabmyself withmyownknittingneedle wall is when I go out into public. Not 'kid-centric' public. I don't even remember the last time I was at an amusement park or a playground or a themed restaurant. No way no how. Unh Uh. YUCK.
I haven't even been to a movie theater since October 12th 2004 when I saw Friday Night Lights. Yup - football on my birthday. AWESOME. More awesome than that though was having the ENTIRE place to ourselves. It was like a Wednesday around 5pm and the place was dead. Awesome.
No screetching brats, no insolent teenagers, no cell phones, no Talky Talkertons behind us. Nutt'n.
I know that's not usual and I don't expect that everyone cater to me and my wishes.
All I would like is to go to a nice restaurant and not have to scope the joint out for the group of people with one/two/three young'ns that you know (because it happens 99% of the time) will completely ignore their kid's antics because they can't be dragged away from their 'adult' time. Kids running around the place, kids whining, or worse caterwalling.
All I would like is to not be at the bank and have walking-aged children running amok in the place, like it's their personal playground - no parenting to be found. I swear to Key-rist, if I had run around like a raving lunatic, spinning and jumping on furniture IN MY OWN HOUSE I'da been given *whatfor* let alone in such a respectful place.
Even past all the crazy out-of-control kids - that isn't really what I consider the main focus in my ChildFreedom.
It's the absolute indoctrination in our society about Parenthood in general and Motherhood in particular. It's touted as being the end-all-be-all of life. When you're a little kid you have 'dollies' that you 'mommy'. Most girls have been babysitters growing up - either taking care of their siblings or the neighbor kids. Parents saying they won't feel their daughter is *safe* until she's finally has her own family . . . .
and oh Lordy the pressure when you've hit the 'birthing' years. Since I was 18 I've been asked when I'm going to have kids. No husband and not even a boyfriend sometimes. Since I am female it's a given that I have a *biological clock* and it is just tickticktick'n away and seems everyone can hear it but me.
I didn't start out HATING the concept of kids. On a case-by-case basis they each have potential, and really, when you get down to it, is it really the KIDS or their parents? Yes, an 8 year old can grab your yarn and fling it. Unacceptable, I agree, but when the parent poo-poo's Snotson's behaviour and feels we all should have his/her attitude and that we need to 'loosen up' because, geez, he's *just a kid*. Grrr.
From the time I questioned the necessity of spawning until I was about 35, I had never heard the term 'Childfree'. I didn't know there was a 'movement' and I didn't know there were other people who felt like I did and had put up with the same stuff I had because of our choice. I was quite alright being different from 'the norm'. If 'the norm' was made up of drool, diapers, tantrums, snot, stickiness and broken stuff 90% of the time and lollipops and rainbows and puppy dog tails 10% of the time, I wanted peace and quiet and clean 100% of the time.
I didn't know the term Kodak Moment (tm) and Breeder Bingo were the descriptions of what I was experiencing.
In 2004 I ran across an article in the Sunday supplement of my local paper and it was an interview of a Childfree by Choice couple. I like to have fell over in shock. My people! I am not alone! Hallaluja!
From that jumping off point, I did alot of research - reading books and articles and blogs and forums and and and. Time after time I read my story in somebody else's words. What a wonderful feeling that was (and still is).
After years of feeling alone, and putting up with all the 'biological clock' comments I finally had the information out there to explain to people what I was really about. I do not want children. They will not take care of me when I'm old, and they will not continue my legacy and they will not be the one thing that will love me no matter what and they will not get me in some superspecial Mommy club that everyone says is the most wonderful place on Earth. None of that is happening because 1) that is bullshit. Nothing is a guarantee. And 2) I do not believe I must have children to *be* somebody because everyone tells me I must have children to *be* somebody.
And they still keep telling me that anyway.
They can't even hear their own kids screetching - how can they possibly hear me?
:eyeroll:
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2 comments:
Very well-said! I too knew I was childfree from an early age, before I knew there was a word for it. Isn't it great to know we're not alone? :)
I avoid kid-zone places whenever I can. DH and I were out shopping one Saturday and thought we would go to TGI Fridays for lunch. When we got inside we could see the dining room loaded with screaming brats (kids and parents alike), so we thought we would sit in the bar. No kids in there, right? Wrong! We had two parents bending over backwards to appease a baby/toddler, the other side had the "family" with two 3' tall nosepickers, and the worst was the family gathering with six adults and eight children. One of the women was going on and on in that loud baby cooing voice to whatever sprog she could get ahold of so I gave her some serious shutthehellupyoureinabar glares. Now we check where they are sitting us before we agree to sit!
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