Tomorrow Is Another Day:

Tomorrow. I'm kind of dreading it, but I'm making the effort to not go in with a negative vibe.

Way back at the end of the year, when I wrote it up, one of the items on my "to do" for 2008 was to try and establish a relationship with my sister again.

We haven't talked face-to-face for quite a while (at least a year?) and rarely in emails even anymore. When I moved back home (she lives in the SLO area as well) I made sure to give her my new address.

That was back in July . . .

She's *supposedly* going to be visiting me tomorrow.

I did this entirely on my terms for a change. Everything is always about her - visit at HER house, talk about HER problems, put up with HER interruptions.

When I still lived here 4+ years ago, we lived (no lie) about 6 big-city blocks away. She off The Pike and me off Highway 1, both in the same city. She visited me one time there. Ever.

For the 4+ years at our house in Porterville, she came to visit . . . lemme think now . . . *ticks off fingers* . . . uh, yeah. One time. Ever.

Apparently that's really pissed me off since I still hold it against her.

Back when her kids were younger, it would have made sense to be tied down to the house. Back when her kids were younger, she actually visited me MORE and I lived further away! In another state! I lived near one of the kid's grandparents though, so that's probably the real reason she came to visit me back then.

Now I'm back in town (albeit not 6 big-city blocks away but definately just 15 minutes away at most) and she'd finally deigned to come to my house tomorrow.

Again, this is all on my terms. I have not stopped by her house one time since coming home. She's asked several times, in her annoying way, hinting around about when I'm 'going to come see her'. Haven't. The road goes both ways and my house is the *new* place. The place to be seen and checked out and shown off. I've seen her house a bazillion times. She's thrown out the "your niece would love to see you" even. Really? The niece that just got her learner's permit? The niece that hasn't emailed or written or called since . . . oh about 10 years? That's nice, but save it.

I've just left this *thing* to sit out and simmer between us. She had the address and could do what she wanted with it. I got the "oh I'm sooooo busy with all the kids" (and that's another story for another day - she's only got two of her own and she's taken in one of her friend's kids for whatever Madonna-complex reason she works under) and the "oh I'm soooo busy with this class I'm taking" (one freak'n day a week) and just general "oh I'm soooo busy" poor me crap blanket she wraps around herself all the time.

I'm not buying into it any more. Ain't drinking her particular brand of Crazy Kool-aid and ain't catering to her.

She finally said she had a break in her Oh So Busy schedule (of not having a real job like the rest of the world) and will come over tomorrow. The only thing I wanted on our agenda was puttering around in my craft room. She's really into rubber stamping and general craft-like endeavors so I'm thinking this would be a good icebreaker for us. No heavy lifting, no Take Care of Little Sister mentality necessary, just hanging and crafting and if she has suggestions for organization I'm all ears. I had zero crafty interest before I moved away, so I'm hoping this mutual interest will work to bond us closer.

We'll see.

Here's where I'm expecting trouble: After ten minutes she's going to start crying and saying things like "I don't know why we're not close" and "You don't understand" - which means I don't understand about her crazy mixed up (made up? I seriously wonder) medical issues that never seem to have a root or a method of treatment. She's right. I DON'T get it. Don't get her.

She's full of all the shit I just don't understand in real life anyway. I wouldn't understand that in my friends, or my husband's family. I don't get sick and I have zero tolerance for people who use phantom illnesses to excuse all their poor life choices. Real people get real illnesses all the time. That I do get. It sucks and it's not fair and sometimes they throw up their hands and scream "WHY? WHY ME. Just "WHY?" Yet all those people get up every fucking day and live their lives and keep on keeping on with the good fight.

Nose to the grindstone. I totally get that.

My sister ain't that person.

This is a 20 minute blog post to encapsulate 32 years of family history between us. There's definately more history than I've written down to far.

She's not my *real* sister in terms of blood. Her parents adopted me (and my younger brother) when I was seven. They unadopted (we'll get to that one day) me when I was 15. I'm 39 now. We're sisters in our hearts though, and maybe that's the point of all I wrote just now. Remembering that we think of each other as sisters after all this time and history.

I'm going to try tomorrow. I won't unleash or vent or dump back all the crap she spews. I'm going to stick to the plan of 'crafting' and guide the conversation as best I can through the murky and turbulent waters of our different personalities.

See. FREE THERAPY!