Get a Fork:

Here's what I came home to this evening.

Freshly laundered clothing.

Clothes I didn't wash OR dry OR fold myself.

Another view of the same basket. Please note that great care was taken to wash the handmade men's socks that the man of the house NEVER WEARS.

Impressed?

He went to the laundromat today because I said I was going to tonight, in order to Get My Own Shit Handled.

One load. The one I handpicked myself last night. Any towels or sheets or throw rugs? Please tell me you didn't hold your breath.

Think I'm a mean-assed bitch that doesn't appreciate the Man of the house?

This token effort was cute the first oh . . . four months of his unemployment.

We are staring down the barrel of 7+ months and zero unemployment left on the books.




Yummmmmmm. Dinner when I walked in the door.




This dinner was brought to you courtesy of calling the female of the house at her work . . . more than once, to ask (again) how to cook this meat. This dinner almost went up in smoke, if the female of the house, upon arriving home from work and sniffing the kitchen air, didn't ask for clarification of the (poundage) mulitiplied by ( length of cook time per pound) on the package.

Thank the Homeowner Insurance Gods that I came home on time. Another 15+ minutes and that picture would've included black char and smoke.

I may not know how to write out the equation of Pork divided by Pounds multiplied by Cook Time per Pound, but I certainly know how to smell it if necessary! My Home Ec class 25 years ago didn't teach me higher math, apparently, but Thanks Be that it taught me "something ain't right in the kitchen" skills!

Please to be explaining why I should still be married?

Y'all don't even fucking know how bad it is. This is just a drop in the bucket of all that is wrong 'round these parts.

FYI:

Tomorrow's post will be about Sunshine and Rainbows and Lollipops.

Okay, fine. You got me. Truth be told, tomorrow's post is going to be about Stitches West.

STITCHES EFFING WEST, PEOPLE!

The two things nailing my sanity to the ground right now are #1 Knitting. Always with the knitting. I don't knit fast, and I don't really knit pretty, but I just love everything knitting. That love takes us to #2. Stitches West. This weekend can't happen slow enough.

Until then, I leave you with the song that keeps playing in my head:

Johnny Mathis's duet with Deniece Williams